Infidelity private investigators Miami Beach South Beach
QUESTION: Something in my gut tells me that my husband may be cheating, but I have no proof. I am thinking about hiring private investigators to find out. My two best friends are divided on this and are giving me conflicting advice. Infidelity private investigators. One says it is wrong, and the other tells me that it the best course of action that I could take. Can you tell me what to do? I can’t stand knowing. Infidelity private investigators.
ANSWER: I certainly understand how upsetting it must be to worry that your husband may be unfaithful. Although confirmation of your suspicions would be devastating, knowing the truth would free you from the limbo of living in doubt and fear. Infidelity private investigators. Therefore, I understand you're considering private investigators. Either your mind finds peace, or you confront the problem. Your friend’s advice to hire private investigators seems simple enough. But you asked my thoughts. So here goes.
From my experience working with thousands of marriages, I agree with the friend who advises you to NOT hire private investigators. Infidelity private investigators.
Earlier in my career of helping marriages, I thought differently. However, I have switched my stance on this after repeatedly witnessing strong negative consequences when one spouse secretly spies on another. I could share myriad horror stories describing how suspicious spouses caused even greater problems in their marriages through employing private investigators. Infidelity private investigators. Tactics such as hiding GPS devices in cars, tracking cell phones, surreptitiously following spouses, bugging telephones, and sneaking into emails or Facebook accounts, can often exacerbate existing marital problems.
All spouses who made the choice to hire private investigators surely felt what you too are feeling, “I have to know for sure. I can’t take the fear and worry!” This is certainly understandable; nevertheless, I consider it highly dangerous to your future relationship. Infidelity private investigators.
Think about the possible results of secretly investigating your husband.
He Is Innocent and Never Discovers You Checked On Him
The best you can hope for is that your private investigators discover your husband is not involved with someone else or involved in some inappropriate behavior. Infidelity private investigators. You pay the investigators' fee, go on with your life, and your husband never knows.
You still have to live with the awareness that you failed to trust him. You also have the fear that if he ever discovers what you did, he will be hurt. Maybe angry. Maybe very angry. Infidelity private investigators.
He Is Innocent and Discovers That You Checked on Him. Infidelity private investigators.
There is always a risk in bugging phones, using GPS devices, digging into emails, hiring investigators, and all the other things you might do to determine if your spouse has secrets. Infidelity private investigators. While he may never know, the possibility exists that he may catch you. No matter how smart, how careful, or how wily you are – or how long you have done it without being discovered – eventually you will make a mistake, or something unexpected will go awry. (That also happens to experienced private investigators.) No secret method of spying is flawless. Infidelity private investigators.
I have witnessed the intense anger, humiliation, and resentment a person feels when she discovers her spouse has been secretly spying on her. Infidelity private investigators. It makes no difference how he tries to explain or justify his actions; the message is loud and clear, “You don’t trust me! You think I’m doing something!” Infidelity private investigators.
Simply accusing a spouse causes problems, but these problems pale in comparison to the earthquake that follows if a spouse discovers that she or she has been followed or spied upon. Infidelity private investigators. A rift in the marriage can occur that takes months, years, perhaps even a lifetime to overcome. Infidelity private investigators.
He is Guilty and You Confront Him. Infidelity private investigators.
If you wish to divorce him if you find proof of infidelity, then it makes little difference how you discover his adultery. Infidelity private investigators.
If you wish to save your marriage if you learn he has strayed, there is a great deal of difference in how he will react to how you found out. Infidelity private investigators.
Typically, no one reacts well to being caught. Often, they focus their own hurt, frustration, and anger on something other than their own behavior. Infidelity private investigators. If for example, someone tells you about your husband’s affair, he may well become angry with that person. Infidelity private investigators. If you accidentally discover it because you find a slip of paper in his pocket or happen to see a text come in on his cell, he will be angry with you for emptying his pocket or seeing his phone. However, because he knows that you were only preparing his pants for the cleaners or that he left his phone where you could easily see, that anger might soon be directed elsewhere. Infidelity private investigators. BUT… if he realizes that you spied on him, all his anger will be directed toward you.
It happens because of all the emotions tumbling through him. He knows that he may lose his reputation. He may lose his children. Infidelity private investigators. He may be humiliated before all his friends and family. He may even be emotionally involved with the other woman and suffering an intense conflict between wanting to be with her and knowing he should do the right thing. Infidelity private investigators. Each of these causes pain. This kind of pain inevitably leads to anger, and this kind of anger needs a target. If you have hired investigators, my experience over many years tells me that you will become that target. Infidelity private investigators.
Of course, he should direct his anger at his own actions and straighten himself up. In time, he may. Infidelity private investigators. However, if after he has been caught he can focus on your having had an investigators follow him (or that you spied upon him with other means), then he will concentrate all the torrential emotions within him into a laser beam of fury onto you. Infidelity private investigators.
If he already considered leaving, this will give him the impetus to do so. If the other woman tries to coax him to abandon you for her, it will give her leverage. If he wishes to stay, it will give him ammunition to hurt you as badly as he feels hurt, despite the fact that his adultery hurt you to your core. Infidelity private investigators.
As already indicated, if you intend to divorce him if you find he is unfaithful, hire the investigators, because you will not care how angry he becomes. Infidelity private investigators.
If you love your husband and want your marriage to survive even if he has strayed, I strongly suggest that you do not hire the investigators. Infidelity private investigators.
So What Do You Do? Infidelity private investigators.
Because you feel that he is cheating, you must do something. Infidelity private investigators.
Tell him of your worries. Make sure you do not accuse as you do. The idea is, “Honey, I’m feeling insecure” rather than, “ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?” Rather than demanding he prove his faithfulness, ask him to demonstrate his love. Reference specific things that worry you, such as “I worry when you come home late, and I don’t know where you’ve been. I’m not accusing you of being with another woman, but can’t you see how it could make me wonder why you aren’t with me, especially when I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing?” Infidelity private investigators. Then ask him to give you the assurance that you need, “I want to be able to know where you are…not because I don’t trust you…but because I need to feel that I’m important enough to you that you want me to know.” Infidelity private investigators.
If your fears continue, increase your requests. Over time, if his actions do not reassure you, ask for more validation of his commitment to you. Infidelity private investigators.
SPECIAL NOTE: Before you get to the point of demanding passwords, phone records, and the like, it would be a GREAT idea to consult a counselor to assess whether it is his lack of transparent accountability or your own personal insecurities that are not healthy for you or your relationship. Infidelity private investigators.
As the author of an infidelity book packed with hundreds of signs of infidelity you can find on your own, I rarely recommend using private investigators to catch a cheating spouse. Infidelity private investigators.
Sometimes You Really Do Need a Private Eye Infidelity private investigators.
However, I do think there are times when you should hire private investigators even though there are numerous signs of infidelity you can discover for yourself. Infidelity private investigators. Even though my book covers practically every known sign of infidelity, certain people should never attempt to find these signs on their own. Infidelity private investigators. And I say this despite the fact that all the signs in my book can be found using just your own eyes and ears and your personal knowledge of your mate. Infidelity private investigators.
Who Should NOT Search for Signs of Infidelity on their Own Infidelity private investigators?
Some individuals should never attempt to search for signs of infidelity on their own. Some people consider everything suspect. Character traits, personality quirks, or past experiences cause some people to view every little thing as a sign of infidelity, even when no infidelity exists. Infidelity private investigators. Rather than jumping to conclusions or falsely accusing their partner of cheating, these people would be better off hiring a private eye.
Who Should Hire an Infidelity Investigators to Catch a Cheating Spouse Infidelity private investigators?
The last thing you want to do is falsely accuse an innocent mate of having an extramarital affair. That could be just as damaging to your relationship as infidelity itself. Infidelity private investigators. So before you start searching for signs of infidelity, or slinging accusations around, you should make sure you're on solid ground. Your suspicions may turn out to be groundless if
- You are suspicious by nature Infidelity private investigators.
- You have a natural distrust of the opposite sex Infidelity, private investigators.
- You have issues with jealousy Infidelity private investigators.
- You are emotionally insecure Infidelity private investigators.
- You suffer from low-self-esteem Infidelity private investigators.
- You are paranoid Infidelity private investigators.
- You have an overly active imagination Infidelity private investigators.
If any of the seven statements above apply to you, then you should probably hire private investigators to check out your mate, instead of trying to do it yourself. It will be impossible for you to remain objective enough to fairly evaluate the clues you find. Infidelity private investigators.
You should also hire licensed private investigators if you require court admissible proof. A professional can conduct a fair and impartial investigation, and provide you with the documented proof you need. Infidelity private investigators.
The Cost of Hiring a Private Eye Infidelity private investigators.
Infidelity investigators are not cheap. Expect to spend several hundred to several thousand dollars, depending on the services you require. Average hourly rates are $100 and can go as high as $200 or more per hour. Most require a retainer up front equal to a minimum of several hours’ work. Infidelity private investigators. Check the yellow pages for a licensed investigator who specializes in spousal, matrimonial, or domestic investigations, as infidelity investigations are sometimes called. Even better - try to get a recommendation from a divorce attorney or someone you know and trust. Infidelity private investigators.
An Alternative to Hiring an Infidelity Investigators Infidelity private investigators.
If you're on a budget, or just aren't willing to spend the kind of money investigators charge, there is another alternative. Infidelity private investigators. Your next best bet is to invest $29 in a copy of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs. It lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. Infidelity private investigators. If you can remain objective enough to evaluate the telltale signs you find, why pay someone to find out something you can easily discover for yourself? You may actually fare better since the book covers signs that a private investigator is unlikely to find. Infidelity private investigators.
The signs of infidelity covered in Is He Cheating on You? are grouped into 21 major categories so you can easily find the signs that apply to your mate. Despite the title, most of the signs in the book apply to cheating women, as well as cheating men. Infidelity private investigators.
Even if you decide to hire a private eye, you should still do a little digging on your own. The more information you can give the investigators, about your cheating spouse and his or her affair, the more quickly and efficiently your investigators can work. Infidelity private investigators. It will keep costs to a minimum, and the lower your final bill will be.
Marital Infidelity? Hire a Private Investigators Infidelity private investigators.
No one wants to have to face marital infidelity. Unfortunately, it is one of the most common reasons that marriages fail. Often a spouse will attempt to investigate on their own to uncover a suspected affair. Remember, because your partner knows you well, they will sense you are suspicious and just become more secretive. Infidelity private investigators.
The most effective way to monitor your partner’s actions and get to the truth is to hire private investigators. Infidelity private investigators. They are professionals that are trained in surveillance, obtaining information and gathering physical evidence in the form of photographs, videos, voice recordings, or semen-detection testing/DNA evidence. Infidelity private investigators.
In most cases, these are skills you don’t have, and conducting your own surveillance could end up putting you in jeopardy. A marital infidelity investigation is best left to a professional. Infidelity private investigators.
Technological Advantages Infidelity private investigators.
Many of sophisticated tools and specialized equipment used in investigations are only available to license private investigators. Infidelity private investigators. From performing surveillance to installing tracking devices, private investigators must not only have the best tools for the assignment but the expertise for proper operation.
Reputable private investigators will attend training to keep up-to-date with all the latest technology in order to provide a client with the best possible service. Infidelity private investigators.
Interviewing Skills Infidelity private investigators.
Good private investigators will be practiced in the art of extracting information, especially from an uncooperative source. As a skilled interviewer, they will ask open-ended questions to reveal information. Infidelity private investigators.
Experienced investigators know it goes beyond simply asking questions. They also observe and interpret a source’s body language which can indicate if they are lying or withholding information. Infidelity private investigators.
Legalities of Surveillance. Infidelity private investigators.
Whether the method is video, photographs, or recorded conversation, professional investigators will be aware of the laws pertaining to the surveillance of an individual. Not only do the laws vary from state to state, they are always subject to change. Infidelity private investigators.
A private investigator is responsible for any activities performed on your behalf and must make certain that they do not fall outside of the law. Infidelity private investigators. Enlisting the services of professional investigators could prevent you from unknowingly breaking the law should you attempt to investigate on your own.
Personal Safety. Infidelity private investigators.
A private investigator is trained to do dangerous jobs such as vehicle surveillance. They have the resources to change their appearance or vehicles quickly as well as the ability to react appropriately to unforeseen circumstances, such as how to handle their cover being blown. Infidelity private investigators.
Hiring private investigators will allow you to discover the truth about your partner’s infidelity without putting yourself at risk. Infidelity private investigators. Without the proper training and experience, you might find yourself in danger if you attempt to conduct an investigation on your own.
Avoiding Criminal Charges. Infidelity private investigators.
Surveillance requires a significant amount of time spent watching subjects from vehicles and recording their conversations or movements. Infidelity private investigators. It is not uncommon for neighbors to consider this a suspicious activity and contact police.
Licensed private investigators will be able to provide a state issued investigators' identification card to prove to the police that they are conducting a legitimate professional investigation. Infidelity private investigators. If you are attempting to conduct an investigation on your own, you will find you have a lot of explaining to do and may even be considered a stalker by authorities. Infidelity private investigators.
Conducting a successful investigation including surveillance requires time, experience and a level head. Besides lacking the necessary experience, with marital infidelity, your emotions will be running too high to properly conduct an investigation. Most people already have a busy schedule and there aren’t enough hours in the day to commit to an investigation. Infidelity private investigators.
And above all, if you attempt an investigation on your own you are putting your personal safety at risk. It is far better to hire a professional investigator who makes a living doing this type of work. Infidelity private investigators.
Private investigation is a highly respected field that has evolved significantly in the last decade. Private investigators now serve as contractors for law enforcement, cyber crime, surveillance and human resource teams. The services they provide are broad ranging and can include everything from investigations into marital infidelity and missing persons, to the use of computer forensics to solve cases related to financial fraud or exploitation.
Private investigators most often work for private investigation agencies or operate their own independent firms. They often work on a contract basis for both public and private sector clients, and almost always hold a state license permitting them to conduct legal investigations and surveillance with impunity. Since a state licensing and regulatory body often oversees the field of private investigations, becoming private investigators means meeting state-specific requirements for licensure.
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